shamelessposer

06:05 am:

This kind of stuff confuses me as much as it angers me. I know it's been going around for awhile but it shouldn't be old news until it stops.

EDIT: Here's an unrelated list of links.

07:12 pm: Yay! Another time waster!
Put "I've seen ____ of these 168 movies" in the subject line and repost. SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 168 movies on this list.

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
() Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
() Airplane
() Braveheart

Total: 7

(x) The Princess Bride
() AnchorMan: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
() Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
() Saw
() Saw II
() White Noise
() White Oleander
() Anger Management
() 50 First Dates
() The Princess Diaries
() The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

total: 5

() Scream
() Scream 2
() Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
() Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp

Total: 5

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
() Resident Evil
() Resident Evil 2
() The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
() The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch
(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre
() White Chicks
() Butterfly Effect
() 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
() Roots

Total: 10

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
() Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came Polly
() Deep Impact
() KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
() Meet The Parents
() Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
(x) Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG

Total: 5

() A Cinderella Story
() The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
() Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
() Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
() Halloween
() The Ring
() The Ring 2
() Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber

Total: 1

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
() Practical Magic
() Chicago
() Ghost Ship
() From Hell
(x) Hellboy
() Secret Window
() I Am Sam
()The Whole Nine Yards

Total: 2

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
() Child's Play
() Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
() Gothika
()Nightmare on Elm Street
() Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
()Coach Carter
() The Grudge
(x) The Mask
() Son Of The Mask

Total: 4

() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
() Lucky Number Sleven
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
() Identity
() Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator
() Predator II
() The Fog (Original)
(x) Ice Age
() Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George

Total: 5

(x) Independence Day
() Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
() Darkness Falls
() Christine
(x) ET
() Children of the Corn
() My Boss's Daughter
() Maid in Manhattan
() Frailty
() War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2

Total: 4

() My Best Friend's Wedding
() How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (ouch)
() She's All That
() Calendar Girls
() Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
() Event Horizon
() Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
() Big Trouble in Little China
() The Terminator
() The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3

Total: 4

(x) X-Men
(x) X2
(x) X-Men 3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
(x) Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
() Catch Me If You Can
() The Others
() Freaky Friday
() Reign of fire
() The Skulls
() Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2

Total: 8

() Swimfan
() Miracle
() Old School
() The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
() Krippendorf's Tribe
() A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
(x) Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old-virgin

Total: 3

GRAND TOTAL: 63

09:37 pm: New record! Also, airing out the dusty old journal.
About this time last year, I was in the loony bin. About this time six months ago, I was getting out of a different stay at another, nicer loony bin. So it's been about six month and a week since my last nervous breakdown, which, considering the last year, is a new personal best. Huzzah!

I'd planned this big retrospective thingamajig on where I am now and what I've accomplished, but it's after ten and I don't feel like going to all that work. Also, I doubt any of you would care enough to read it. Also, it'd suck.

01:38 pm: Yellow Ribbons
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmsOIjzQ1V8

We need more patriots like these.

And we need more voters like their audience.

06:15 pm: Been a long time, for some reason
For some reason it's been a very long time since I last updated. There are many possible reasons for this, but I'll choose to blame... orphans.

Job interview with Best Buy on Monday. I'm hopeful, and getting a decent paycheck would allow me to move in with Nick and Shana (who, by the way, got engaged last week. Go them!).

Been sick all week, and as a result I was barely able to speak on Talk Like A Pirate Day. Alas. There's always next year.

While I'm sick now, I'm much better lately than I have been over the last several months. Changes in medication, environment and outlook have made me a far better, more annoying person than ever before. Yay. Come to think of it, maybe the lack of any reason to emo things up is a contributing factor to my not posting here so much anymore.

I'll try to post more later. Or not.

06:41 pm: Taken from Kirkland's LJ. Does he even know he's friended?
(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

× I miss somebody right now.	✓ I don't watch much TV these days.	✓ I own lots of books.
✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses.	✓ I love to play video games.	× I've tried marijuana.
✓ I've watched porn movies.  ((But not amputee porn.))	✓ I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.  ((...yeah.))	× I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
✓ I curse sometimes.  (("Sometimes" is an interesting way to put it.))	✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.  ((Tee-hee!))	× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

( it goes on... )

06:06 pm: I received an e-mail from Anne Bancroft today.
This comes only a couple of weeks after being e-mailed by John Hurt and Dean Stockwell...

----
hi,
granny people make seks together :-)
(link snipped)



give sides shut... tease leeks stall smell;
stalk wrong rich tell list
crash name tear tiny? omen boys shall thats
even rode latin laugh; holy doors agony sell

sink its stop eat eagle on,

http://arm.vzvbdqp.com/not.html

rusty tone been to kept upon sigh banks?
three sour guess by like suit

01:06 am: Sony and Nixon
Fixed the Playstation 2 over the weekend. Works like a charm, now, and a little bit lighter now that I've taken out part of the heat shield to the expansion bay I'll never use. And I've got extra screws left over, too!

And now, on the subject of voting for Richard Milhouse Nixon:

badassblenderboy: The man was a nut case... sorry, even if he had some positive aspects, the fear of him doing something dangerous because "they are out to get him" is too great.
ClaytontheWeird4: Okay, so maybe voting for him isn't too good an idea.
ClaytontheWeird4: What about Zombie Nixon?
badassblenderboy: Zombie Nixon is acceptable.

08:20 pm: Save Screech!
Dustin Diamond needs to collect $250,000 or he'll lose his house.

http://www.getdshirts.com/

Four different sites that I've checked confirm it's not a joke. The guy really is hurting for money, and if you donate fifteen dollars to the cause you get a T-shirt. Donate twenty and that shirt gets signed.

Come on, everyone! He's Screech! Help a brother out!

11:25 pm: Everyone's goin' blonkers!
I have made my first Ebay purchase.

Within days, Azumanga Daioh will be mine, and it will be glorious.

09:34 pm: He's hardcore!
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Japanese phenomenon known as "Razor Ramon," aka HARD GAY.

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v341/shamelessposer/razor.jpg[/IMG]

(By the way, never, ever do an unfiltered Google Image Search for Hard Gay.)

03:37 pm: OKLAHOMA!
http://www.theindychannel.com/family/8849258/detail.html?treets=ind&tml=ind_9am&ts=T&tmi=ind_9am_1_08050204202006

Know a single virgin between the ages of twelve and twenty-four? Want to make a thousand bucks?

12:48 pm: The first video game made for Richard Gere!
You can play it with your hamster:

http://www.newscientisttech.com/article/dn9009-game-to-turn-pet-hamsters-into-peopleeaters.html

04:32 pm: Share and Enjoy (go stick your head in a pig)
Why the American edcuation system sucks:

http://www.thememoryhole.org/edu/school-mission.htm

11:23 pm: Psycho!
Nothing here I didn't know already.

Disorder	Your Score
Major Depression:	Moderate
Dysthymia:	Slight
Bipolar Disorder:	Extremely High
Cyclothymia:	Extremely High
Seasonal Affective Disorder:	Extremely High
Postpartum Depression:	N/A
Take the Depression Test

10:11 pm: What did Tubgirl say to the Goatse Guy?

"Catch!"

09:44 pm: Scariest college evar.
Secretive Pensacola Christian controls student life with tough regulations and unwritten rules

By THOMAS BARTLETT

Pensacola, Fla.

The campus looks just like the glossy brochure: clean, green, and beautiful. The students are well dressed and well groomed, not a pair of jeans or scrappy goatee in sight. Inside the Commons building, two students engage in a spirited game of Ping-Pong. When one of them misses an easy shot, he cries, "Praise the Lord!"

Pensacola Christian College prides itself on being different, not just from secular colleges, but from fellow Christian ones, too. Some of those differences, like the way students dress, are obvious to any visitor. Others are not. Since its founding, more than 30 years ago, Pensacola has blossomed from a tiny Bible college into a thriving institution of nearly 5,000 students. Along the way it has become known as among the most conservative — and most secretive — colleges in the country.

Not to mention one of the strictest. The rules at Pensacola govern every aspect of students' lives, including the books they read, the shoes they wear, the churches they attend, and the people they date. Many of those regulations are spelled out in a handbook sent to students after they enroll, but there are plenty of unwritten rules as well. Demerits are common and discipline swift.

It's all in the name of preserving Pensacola's "distinctives" — the word the college uses for what sets it apart. But many former students say the enforcement of the rules is often cruel and capricious. Dissent is never tolerated, they say, and expulsions for seemingly minor infractions are routine.

They also complain that Pensacola plays down (or never mentions) an important fact: It is not accredited. For many students, that lack of accreditation has not been a problem; for some, however, it has meant starting college over elsewhere or being rejected by employers.

In keeping with its distrust of outsiders, Pensacola's administration declined repeatedly to comment for this article. A spokesman says college officials "don't want to stir up a hornet's nest." But as interviews with dozens of current and former students make clear, the buzzing has already begun.

The Rule Book

Lisa Morris was walking to class with her boyfriend last October when something happened. At first Ms. Morris, a sophomore music major, is reluctant to divulge the details. Eventually, however, the truth comes out: He patted her behind.

Someone who witnessed the incident reported Ms. Morris and her boyfriend. At Pensacola any physical contact between members of the opposite sex is forbidden. (Members of the same sex may touch, although the college condemns homosexuality.) The forbidden contact includes shaking hands and definitely includes patting behinds. Both students were expelled.

Of Pensacola's many rules, those dealing with male-female relationships are the most talked about. There are restrictions on when and where men and women may speak to each other. Some elevators and stairwells may be used only by women; others may be used only by men. Socializing on particular benches is forbidden. If a man and a woman are walking to class, they may chat; if they stop en route, though, they may be in trouble. Generally men and women caught interacting in any "unchaperoned area" — which is most of the campus — could be subject to severe penalties.

Those rules extend beyond the campus. A man and a woman cannot go to an off-campus restaurant together without a chaperon (usually a faculty member). Even running into members of the opposite sex off campus can lead to punishment. One student told of how a group of men and a group of women from the college happened to meet at a McDonald's last spring. Both groups were returning from the beach (they had gone to separate beaches; men and women are not allowed to be at the beach together). The administration found out, and all 15 students were expelled.

Even couples who are not talking or touching can be reprimanded. Sabrina Poirier, a student at Pensacola who withdrew in 1997, was disciplined for what is known on the campus as "optical intercourse" — staring too intently into the eyes of a member of the opposite sex. This is also referred to as "making eye babies." While the rule does not appear in written form, most students interviewed for this article were familiar with the concept.

As she tells it, Ms. Poirier was not gazing lovingly at her boyfriend; he had something in his eye. But officials didn't buy her explanation, and she and her boyfriend were both "socialed," she says.

There are three levels of official punishment at Pensacola (four, if you count expulsion). Students can be "socialed," "campused," or "shadowed." Students who are socialed are not allowed to talk to members of the opposite sex for two weeks. Those who are campused may not leave the college grounds for two weeks or speak to other campused students.

Being shadowed is the worst of the three. Shadowed students are assigned to a "floor leader" for several days. A floor leader is a student who is paid by the college and has the power to issue demerits. Shadowed students must attend the floor leader's classes and sleep in the floor leader's room. During this time, the shadowed student is not allowed to talk to anyone but the floor leader. Shadowing is usually a prelude to expulsion.

Ms. Poirier was later told she would be shadowed after being spotted riding in a car in mixed company. She tried to explain that it was an innocent outing, but to no avail. When told she would be shadowed, Ms. Poirier decided to withdraw. "I said 'screw it' and I left," she says.

There are plenty of other ways to run afoul of the rules. Last spring Timothy Dow was caught playing the video game Halo 2. Such games are banned by the college. Movies are also forbidden, including those rated G. Music is restricted to classical or approved Christian ("contemporary Christian" artists are deemed too worldly). Students are allowed to watch television news at 6 o'clock, but that's it. The TVs are controlled by college employees, who flip a switch to black out the commercials, lest students see anything inappropriate.

In the library, books and magazines are censored. One student says she saw a pair of black-marker boxer shorts on a photograph of Michelangelo's David. Any books that students wish to read that are not in the library must first be approved by administrators. Those containing references to "magic," for instance, are normally rejected. The rule book specifically prohibits "fleshly magazines and books."

For playing the video game, Mr. Dow was campused. Later, in the cafeteria, he ran into a friend who had just been expelled. Mr. Dow had been told not to talk to his friend, who had previously been campused. But he figured it would be OK now that his friend was leaving. "I gave him a hug and said, 'See you later, man,'" he says.

Someone witnessed the exchange and turned Mr. Dow in. Students routinely turn each other in for violating rules and are rewarded by the administration for doing so. According to several former students, those who report classmates are more likely to become floor leaders.

Mr. Dow was called to the office of the dean of men, where, he says, he waited for about four hours. Then he was expelled.

In The Beginning

Pensacola Christian College is "an idea that came from God," according to its Web site. The college was founded in 1974 by Arlin Horton, who remains its president. It is Baptist but is not affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention or any similar organization. Both Mr. Horton and his wife, Rebekah, are graduates of Bob Jones University. While it appears that he copied his alma mater's demerit system and some of its rules, there is a longstanding rift between the two institutions.

Several years ago, Pensacola publicly criticized Bob Jones University for using translations of the Bible other than the King James Version. (Pensacola's policy is that the King James is the only divinely inspired English translation.) A group of Bob Jones faculty members fired off a lengthy letter responding to the attack.

It is true that students at Bob Jones are permitted to consult other English translations of the Bible. In the letter, however, Bob Jones professors objected to the implication that the university was not faithful to the word of God. "PCC appears to be bent on claiming exclusive right to the higher ground of Fundamentalism — in lofty isolation, not only from BJU, but from virtually every other Fundamental Bible college and seminary," they wrote.

A representative of Bob Jones University declined to talk about the bad blood between the colleges.

When Pensacola opened its doors, it had one building and 100 students. Its mission was to offer an education "based on the Christian traditional approach in contrast to the humanistic, progressive systems of education." Since then, as it has grown to nearly 5,000 students, it has built a large, gated campus featuring an art-and-music center with a 140-seat recital hall and recording studio; a 137,000-square-foot sports center with a basketball court, ice-skating rink, 12-lane bowling alley, four-lane jogging track, miniature golf course, and racquetball courts. There is a cafeteria, an on-campus restaurant, and a 300,000-volume library.

The campus also has several computer labs and wireless Internet access, although there is a catch. In the mid-1990s, Pensacola had e-mail and limited Internet access, but it shut the services down after several students started an online newsletter criticizing the college. (Needless to say, the students who created the newsletter were expelled.) Internet access was not restored until last year, and it comes with significant restrictions. There are a few hundred approved Web sites; students must ask permission to visit any other site. Amazon and eBay, for instance, are reportedly not on the approved list. Several students say they leave the campus to surf the Web.

Pensacola's success can be chalked up in part to its reputation. It is known as perhaps the strictest Christian college in the country, one that has criticized Bob Jones, of all places, for being too liberal. For those searching for a college that is more-Christian-than-thou, Pensacola is it. It has found a marketing niche.

But that is not the only reason for its growth. Along with the college, Mr. Horton founded A Beka Books, acknowledged as the largest Christian-textbook company in the world. A Beka sells textbooks to more than 10,000 Christian schools across the country, offering a complete curriculum for kindergarten through 12th grade. It has also won a big share of the lucrative home-school market.

The company brings in about $70-million in annual revenue and is valued at $280-million, according to Dun & Bradstreet. A sizable chunk of that revenue goes to support the college, which does not come close to breaking even on its own. According to its 2003 tax filing, the university collected $20-million in tuition and fees and $3-million from contributions. The filing attributes $15-million in income to "royalties," presumably from A Beka.

In the mid-90s, A Beka paid nearly $50-million in back taxes after the Internal Revenue Service ruled that it should have been classified as a for-profit entity. The college itself remains nonprofit.

Revenue from A Beka helps keep costs extremely low. Students pay $6,000 a year for tuition, room, and board. That's about a third or a quarter of what most other Christian colleges cost. When asked what other colleges they considered, Pensacola students often mention Bob Jones, Cedarville University, Northland Baptist Bible College, and Abilene Christian University. Cost is usually cited as the deciding factor.

Just as the textbook company helps support the college, the college helps support the textbook company. Many of Pensacola's students work for A Beka, operating binding equipment, packing books into boxes, loading those boxes onto forklifts. Some students complain about the working conditions; others say it's a good deal. For women, A Beka is usually the only employment option because they are not allowed to hold off-campus jobs. Or leave the campus alone, for that matter.

In the world of Christian colleges, Pensacola is an oddity. It is not a member of the Council for Christian Colleges and Universities. It has little to do with other institutions. Several administrators at other Christian colleges declined to discuss Pensacola on the record for fear of seeming critical. One said he did not know enough to speak knowledgeably because Pensacola keeps mostly to itself.

While not wanting to criticize Pensacola, Carl A. Ruby, vice president for student life at Cedarville, in Ohio, emphasizes that his university doesn't take the "bad-kid approach" to discipline. "On major issues of Christian doctrine, we are probably always on the same page," he writes in an e-mail message. "In terms of living out our faith on a daily basis, significant differences emerge."

Too Much? Or Just Right?

So Pensacola is strict. Sometimes very strict.

Is that necessarily a bad thing?

Not really, according to Isaac Blakely. "You get tired of some of the rules, but all in all the rules are not that hard to deal with if you have the right attitude about it," he says.

Mr. Blakely, a senior commercial-art major, had a friend who was socialed for "sitting too close to a girl." One semester Mr. Blakely himself came perilously close to getting kicked out by racking up 118 demerits. (A total of 150 means automatic expulsion.) The demerits were for small offenses, like forgetting to empty his dorm-room trash can or failing to properly clean the sink. Rooms are inspected regularly, and students who do not meet cleanliness standards are given demerits.

Even so, Mr. Blakely is loath to complain. "If PCC didn't put restrictions on us, I would wonder about their standards," he says. "I'm glad they're doing it."

Mena Ghobrial doesn't mind the rules, either. "At first I thought it was too strict, but it helps me concentrate on my studies," says the senior pre-med major. Mr. Ghobrial, who is from Egypt, thinks that some of the restrictions, such as making students sign out when they leave the campus and write down where they are going, help keep them safe.

Others are less enthusiastic about Pensacola's approach. Lisa Daxer transferred to Cedarville from Pensacola. Like other conservative Christian colleges, Cedarville has its share of rules. For instance, students may not drink alcohol on or off the campus, even if they are over 21. They are also forbidden to listen to music that comes with a parental-advisory sticker. Most forms of dancing are banned (ballet is OK).

That's fine with Ms. Daxer, who has no desire to attend a more permissive secular college.

Her problems with Pensacola go beyond the rules. Administrators there equate loyalty to the college with obedience to God in a way she finds objectionable. "They used to say that being at PCC is God's will for our lives," she says. "So walking out of PCC would be breaking God's will for our lives. Then I've heard them say that you might end up dying because God can't use you anymore."

Darrell Dow has heard much the same thing. "There is this idea that if you go against us, you're going against God," he says. Mr. Dow graduated from Pensacola in 2003 with a degree in computer science, but by then he already felt disillusioned. (Timothy Dow, who was kicked out for hugging a recently expelled friend, is Darrell Dow's cousin.) He says because rules can be "made up on the spot," it seems impossible to abide by all of them. "There's a feeling of helplessness and a spirit of fear," he says. "Not to put too fine a point on it, but there's a very 1984 feel to the place."

Matthew Arnold agrees. He graduated from Pensacola in 1998 with a degree in commercial art and graphic design; his younger sister attends the college "going against all the advice I ever gave," he says. Mr. Arnold is active in an online forum for former students, where many complain about the college and trade their best, or worst, stories. Some even call themselves "survivors" of the institution. Others, though, temper their criticism with fond regard.

Mr. Arnold argues that because the college claims that its authority comes directly from God, students who feel mistreated are put in an extremely awkward position. There is another, more practical fear as well, he says: Getting kicked out might mean starting over because other colleges might not accept unaccredited Pensacola's credits. "You live in terror of losing all the money you've put into the college," he says.

When Adam Peters enrolled at Pensacola, he believed that "the Lord wanted me to go there." But last fall he accumulated 111 demerits and was asked to sit out for a semester. Mr. Peters, a junior majoring in Bible studies, says he has started "to see a lot of the weaknesses" in Pensacola's system. "I can't shut my eyes to those, even though there are strengths," he says.

From his perspective, there are indeed strengths. Christianity is woven throughout the curriculum. Creationism is taught in science courses. Classes begin with a prayer. Along with mandatory chapel services, students must attend the campus church three times every week; they are not allowed to go to another church unless they are from the Pensacola area, and even then they need special permission. Mandatory small-group prayer meetings are held in the evenings.

A strong Christian emphasis is part of what Mr. Peters wanted in a college. But he has become disturbed by how Pensacola exerts its considerable power over students' lives. He is also bothered by how many of his friends have left the college. "One day they're there, and the next it's like, 'Where's Samantha? Oh, she got kicked out,'" he says. "They won't spell things out, and then they'll yank you. There's not always a lot of mercy there."

Insurmountable Problems
Several previously unaccredited Christian colleges, like Bob Jones, have recently become candidates for accreditation. Pensacola, however, has shown no interest in outside approval of any kind. Nor does it advertise its unaccredited status. A search of the Web site turns up no mention of accreditation. It is not mentioned in the college's viewbook either, which dedicates four pages to sports activities and two to campus facilities.

It is mentioned, in small print, on the inside flap of the course catalog: "Pensacola Christian College has never made application for regional accreditation as the College believes it would jeopardize the College's philosophical distinctives." The catalog goes on to say that getting other colleges to accept Pensacola's credits "has seldom been an insurmountable problem."

It was an insurmountable problem for Abel Harding. Near the end of his junior year, Mr. Harding placed a sign on his dorm-room door that said, "Welcome to the Party Room." He glued cutouts from a magazine, including a beer bottle, to the poster. It was meant as a joke, he says, because the very idea that he would have beer in his room was laughable.

The administration didn't see it that way. Mr. Harding was shadowed for three days.

That was one of several run-ins he had with the administration. All students join a "collegian," Pensacola's version of the Greek system. Mr. Harding's collegian was nicknamed "the Scorpions" and one member got a tattoo of a scorpion to demonstrate his loyalty. Tattoos are not allowed, and the student was campused. In protest Mr. Harding and his fellow collegians wore all black to chapel one day. They were forced to leave the service and told they would be expelled if they wore black to chapel again.

The shadowing, however, was the tipping point. Even though the administration told Mr. Harding that he could return for his senior year, he decided to withdraw.

"I just couldn't deal with it anymore," he says.

He applied to the University of Florida and was told that none of his credits would transfer. "I had to start over," he says. So, after three years at Pensacola, he enrolled as a freshman at nearby Santa Fe Community College and later transferred to Southern Illinois University at Carbondale, from which he eventually graduated.

He says he called Pensacola for help, and offi-cials there provided none: "There's no label that says, 'We're not accredited.' How many 18-year-olds know enough to ask that?"

When he was a student, Mr. Harding traveled with a singing group that promoted Pensacola. When prospective students asked about accreditation, Mr. Harding says the singers were instructed to tell them that Harvard and Yale are not accredited, either, and so accreditation doesn't matter. (Harvard and Yale, for the record, are accredited.)

Lack of accreditation has been a problem for Amy Brown, too. She graduated from Pensacola in 2003 with a degree in early-childhood education. But because the college is not accredited, she cannot teach in public schools, she says. She had no idea what accreditation was before enrolling at Pensacola. "I never tried to transfer," she writes in an e-mail message, "because I had friends that did and ended up with all of their credits as electives," meaning that they had to retake required courses.

Mr. Ghobrial, the student from Egypt who doesn't mind the rules, wants to attend dental school. His first choice, West Virginia University, has already said it would not consider his application, because Pensacola is not accredited. "I'm hoping they change their minds," he says.

Many Christian colleges do accept Pensacola's credits, as do some secular institutions. Several former students say they have had no difficulty transferring credits or applying for jobs. But others have. And as more states crack down on degrees from unaccredited colleges, it may get even tougher for Pensacola graduates.

Donald Barber asked about accreditation before he enrolled. The first time he asked, he says, a college representative evaded the question. Then the representative said it wasn't important. "I had to ask three more times before he said no."

Mr. Barber left the college in 2004 after "butting heads" with administrators over an event he was planning. He wanted to invite a speaker from Bob Jones to an off-campus Christian-revival meeting. Pensacola officials told him he could not. "I was appalled by that," Mr. Barber says.

He did not object to the college's many rules. But he did mind that Pensacola's leaders would not tolerate dissent of any kind. "I felt like it stifled my personality," he says.

Students interviewed for this article were asked whether they would recommend the college. Some, even a few who had strong criticisms of the college, said they would. Others said absolutely not. Matthew Arnold, whose sister enrolled in Pensacola against his advice, argues that it depends a lot on the student. "If God told them to go, then there's not a lot you can do about it," he says.

But, he adds, they should know what they're getting into.

http://chronicle.com
Section: Students
Volume 52, Issue 29, Page A40

08:49 pm: Out and Proud
Well... here I am. After about a week of some serious thinking and therapy and medication, I'm finally stable enough to re-enter society. I really don't think I'm quite the same person I was when I went in, so please, everyone try and bear with me for a while. I'm trying to relearn how to use my new brain.

05:33 pm: I'm Shallow!
Alright, number 4 of the 4 messages my brother wanted me to post. Again, the date is March 9th, 2006. that's when I got these messages.

I'm Shallow!
I was expecting the path to recovery to be long, hard, difficult, and as multilayered and incomprehensible as the last two episodes of Evangelion. Turns out that I'm not nearly as complicated as I thought, because the last twelve hours or so have been ginchy/ Sleep was a problem last night, but thanks to the marvels of modern chemistry I've been in a pretty upbeat mood. No real thoughts of self-inflicted pain all day, and while most of the other soul-crushing thoughts are still in my head I'm just doped up enough not to care too much. I am a shallow, shallow person.
Yesterday I was given a 567 question survey to help fill in some blanks in my psychological profile. If the questions hadn't repeated so much, the test probably could have been cut down by about a third, maybe more. I guess they wanted to be pretty comprehensive about whether or not I'm dumb enough to reveal my psychic powers to the psychiatric community.
I actually participated in group today, which is a huge step forward from the "deer in headlights" mode I was in yesterday. There's a new girl here who was admitted over night, and by the second group she had turned into a social butterfly. I'll never understand how someone can open up like that, but it's an admirable quality. It's also nice to finally have someone here who's about my age. Yay for social interaction!
Someone here is a fan of Fox News, which is in itself depressing. It's the only channel that's been on for over 24 hours, and even the weather has a conservative bias. I guess some people just like hearing what they already believe and don't like having their opinions challenged, but everyone here has some kind of security blanket.
Lots of people are leaving today and tomorrow, pretty soon I'll be grandfathered in as one of the inmates running the asylum.

05:33 pm: Brought to you by...Venlafaxine?
Alright, third message I got to give to you on the date of March 9th, 2006.

Brought to you by...Venlafaxine?
Sitting in a dark room lamenting every mistake you've made in every relationship or quai-relationship to which you've ever been a part of doesn't do much to raise the spirits, except maybe Gozer. Replace "sitting" with "laying" and you pretty much have my acitivty for the evening.
It's not healthy at all, but it does afford me some time to reflect on what I'm doing wrong in the present. I've been thinking about Jane far too much, considering that relationship was ruined three years ago, but I already knew that before I came in here. Still, since she's my one and only ex-anything, I guess it's okay for everyone to blame her for my current condition...even if I haven't talked to her in a year and a half and we parted on amiable terms. I think that was a joke, but I'm on a new anti-depressant I can't pronounce that sounds like a random encounter out of a poorly-translated Squaresoft game.
That's the worst constructed paragraph I've written or said in recent memory.
At the risk of getting too metaphysical on everyone, I'm really not entirely sure who I am right now. The Clayton I've known for the last twenty years never even would have considered killing himself. That's just a line I never would have crossed. I thought there was never a chance I would find myself this low and I'd always be able to bounce back from the brink of despair and make a joke about it...but Monday night I guess I sort of broke myself. That means I'll just have to find a way to pick up the pieces and put myself back together again. I'm not too sure I know how to do that, but I've got new medication, good doctors, and the support of better friends than I could possibly deserve all on my side, so I'm guessing I'll ind a way. As ar as support goes, I couldn't possibly ask for better.
It's probably worth mentioning now that there's going to be a little bit of a time delay between me writing and these letters being viewable. I'm writing the day(or, in this case, the night before) I see my father, who passes the letters of to Matthew when he can, who types up the letters when he can. For frame of reference, it's Wednesday evening and the end of my first full day here. Tim just found out what's going on a few hours ago, and he's the one I've trusted with spreading the word, which means some of you are probably learning of my sorry state as I write this.
So far the youngest girl I've seen here today was a med student who interviewed me today...which means no chance of hooking up friends with new and exciting womenfolk who should be kept away from sharp objects and no nuthouse romance for Clayton. That just means that when I get out, I'll have to redouble my efforts in the direction of girls who can beat me up, lesbians, and Tim.
I wonder which of the above 3 my parents would approve of me bringing home to dinner? And, possibly more important, how icky Matthew felt having to type it up?((I, Matthew, will add in here that yes, I did shudder as I typed this part.))
Also, a correction to something I said earlier: there are SEVEN angry anime gods staring down at me, enough to complete th cast of Azumanga Daioh. Oh, happy day.